If James were gay
by Random Coupler
Summary: Nathan sings a little song to is pal James. OCCness. Crack implied NathanXJames.


**A/n: I had a horrbile Nathan fic attack...Not much to say...I don't own much...**

"Aah, an afternoon alone with my favorite book, "Broadway Musicals of the 1940s. No Nathan to bother me. How could it get any better than this?"James asked out loud as he thumbed threw the pages of his book in silent peace. But his peace was broke,

"Oh,hi James!"Nathan shouted slamming the door as he walked in.

"Hi Nathan..."James sighed, he hopped that his eye would not twitch agaiin when Nathan tried to hug him. Nathan sat beside him on the sofa and leaned really close to James.

"Oh James, you'll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me."Nathan began to explain his bazare encounter.

"Oh, yes. That's very interesting."James rolled his eyes and pushed Nathan away without looking up from his book.

"He was being real friendly, and I think he was coming on to me. I think he might've thought I was gay!"Nathan exclaied laughing and throwing his arms up in the air.

"Ahem, " James coughed,"so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?"

"Oh, you don't have to get, all defensive about it, James..."

"I'm NOT getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read."

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, James. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about."Nathan rubbed James' shoulder affectionately.

"I don't want to talk about it, Nathan! This conversation is over!!"James swatted his hand away and gave a death glare,

"Yeah, but..."

"OVER!!"

"Well, okay, but just so you know —IF YOU WERE GAY THAT'D BE OKAY. I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY, I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY. BECAUSE YOU SEE,IF IT WERE ME, I WOULD FEEL FREE TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY.(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)"

"Nathan, please!I am trying to read..."James buried his face in his book, only to glance at Nathan two seconds later, Nathan was grinning,"What?!"

"IF YOU WERE QUEER!"

"Ah, Nathan!"

"I'D STILL BE HERE,"

"Nathan, I'm trying to read this book."James bellowed shaking the book in his hands and re-burying his face in his book.

"YEAR AFTER YEAR!"

"Nathan!"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR TO ME!"

"Argh!"

"AND I KNOW THAT YOU,"

"What?"

"WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,"

"I would?"

"IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,'HEY! GUESS WHAT, I'M GAY!' (BUT I'M NOT GAY.)I'M HAPPY JUST BEING WITH YOU!"

"High Button Shoes, Pal Joey..."

"SO WHAT SHOULD IT MATTER TO ME WHAT YOU DO IN BED WITH GUYS?!"

"Nathan, that's GROSS!"James threw his book aside disgusted and stomped out of the living room.

"No it's not! IF YOU WERE GAY I'D SHOUT HOORAY!"Nathan continued, happily skipping after the dark skinned Chevalier.

"I am not listening!"James imformed him plugging is ears with his thumbs.

"AND HERE I'D STAY,"

"La la la la la!"

"BUT I WOULDN'T GET IN YOUR WAY."They passed Carl and Diva in the kitchen, Diva was drinking blood quite heavily from Carl when they did. As soon as she saw what Nathan was doing, she dropped Carl and ran after them to join Nathan. Leaving Carl open necked and bleeding on the tile floot.

"Aaaah!"

"YOU CAN COUNT ON ME! TO ALWAYS BE BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY, TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY, YOU WERE JUST BORN THAT WAY, AND, AS THEY SAY, IT'S IN YOUR DNA, YOU'RE GAY!"Both Diva and Nathan dueted together. Amshel and Solomon stopped planning their little plans in Solomon's study and gapped at the scene before them. James groaned and spun on his heel to face his,'blood brother' and 'mother';

"BUT I'M NOT GAY!"

"If you were gay."Diva giggled.

"Argh!"James threw his arms over his head and stormed out of the house. Diva looked at Nathan slyly.

"He's gay, isn't he?"Nathan giggled girlier then Diva;

"You bet, and I'll be the first boyfriend he has!"Nathan exclaimed. Slowly and awkwardly Solomon and Amshel retreated into Solomon's study. Disturbed by Nathan's outburst.

"Good for you Nathan!"Diva shouted hugging the femenine looking Chevalier.

**A/n: This was so random...**


End file.
